well i got a text from a person who will remain nameless and it bought back so many memories and what that person texted me about were the memories and it was of course it was like 1 something when i got the text and i was half way asleep and did really pay attention to it until i got up this morning. well i have so much anger and resentment bottled up and some of that is from you and i don't know why. i feel like i have a reason to be so extremely mad at you, but then again i told you to do what your heart told you to do, thats what you did, and i guess that's partly my fault so i can't really blame you. anyways i'll get to the point of this blog.. have you ever just been driving and had that one song on and you just start listening to the lyrics of that song and they really start to speak to you and you're not thinking about anything but that song and you're just staring at the road, and next thing you know you were speeding, well that's what happened to me this morning and i just got caught up in my thoughts and this song and next thing i know i was going almost 70. i just wanted to stop there and cry and i don't know why i just have so much on my plate and i haven't been able to talk to anyone about it cause i haven't talked to my bestfriend since friday, and i guess that's partly my fault too since i didn't give an effort to try and talk to her. shes the only one that i can talk to about things like this because she understands and knows exactly what to say to make me feel better.
heres another person that this anger is coming from and i know that they won't read this but that's okay. you have changed so much from the person who i thought you were, i had the summer of my life because of you, and now things are so different. you said we would be friends and i'm sorry but friends actually talk to each other, and i'm not talking about that once every five or so months, i guess it really is true when people say that time, distance, and college changes people and it changed you. i don't even know who you are anymore you're a totally different person i don't like the "new" you, but i guess i don't have any say in that, since i hardly talk to you anymore. oh well have a nice life. just know that i will always care about you and i never stopped even when you hated me and heard nasty rumors and believed them.... you actually believed them which really amazes me that you don't know me well enough even though i told you everything about me and you just totally threw that out the window... i guess all that time we spent together meant nothing.. i gave you my heart and you just threw it out the window, but that's okay cause you made me a stronger person and i wanna thank you for that.. so thanks. but i can't just talk about the bad things. you were the greatest and gave me the summer of my life, and i have so memories that i will hold on to since you're not there anymore, but i loved just being with you and doing nothing. i love your parents they are the sweetest. i was honestly falling for you fast but that came to and end when you left. but honestly felt like my world was crashing down because you were a great boyfriend and you knew exactly how to treat a girl, you never let me pay for myself even when i fought you to let me you still didn't give in, i will always remember the night at carrabbas, that was the best day/night. you meant the world to me, but all i have now are the memories, but thanks for everything. i just wish things would have ended a little bit better than they did.
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